Now Playing Tracks

OMFG - My wife is back on the crack?



Okay, a couple of things you need to know:

1] I haven’t posted anything here for a long time because my wife has stopped reading her dirty stories. Had stopped. Or so I thought.

2] She has been using some sort of stealth mode on her browser on her iPad.

3] This weekend she forgot to use…

Saturday Night - No Sex?

We had some very good sex on Friday night (see Mondays post**), which led me to think maybe I could actually try out my plans for a little light bondage after all. I’d decided to try that since I knew my wife read a lot of dirty stories along those lines, and I wanted to do something special for her since she decided not to go away this weekend with 5 guys - without me! You can read that story here:

So after brunch on Saturday I was about to pull in to a store to buy some soft ropes (I figured it would be a good way to broach the subject of my plans; since I also figured it wouldn’t be fair to just spring it on her that night) when she asked if we could get home in a hurry because she was ill. Very ill. She needed a bathroom, stat!

Let’s just say that put paid to any plans I had for that evening!

Instead we watched the first series of Masters of Sex on DVD, which was pretty good. It’s a serious show from Showtime, but all that sex and masturbation (“for science!”) doesn’t hurt. If you haven’t watched it I thoroughly recommend it. I have no idea how accurate it is (it’s about Masters & Johnson, those pioneering sex researchers) but it certainly is watchable!

We watched the whole series, and by 4am we were ready for bed. No sex for us that night (even though I was horny) because she was still feeling unwell. She later admitted that she had thrush, which she blamed on the vigorous sex we’d had on Friday night**. I asked her if she thought she was allergic to my dick, and she said she didn’t know, but something was happening.

Here’s a pic of Lizzy Caplan (who plays Virginia Johnson) and is SO.DAMN.SEXY!! (The other actor is Michael Sheen)

** link to Mondays post:

TMI Tuesday: Aug. 19, 2014 ~ Doing Business?

This week’s TMI Tuesday is the idea of Virtual Sin and the questions are a collaboration between him and TMI. Enjoy!

For each of the categories listed below, imagine that a new business or event of that type opened in your area. Tell us whether you would check it out or attend; and, whether you would go alone, with friends of your gender, or with a significant other/lover. Expound on your answer as much as you’d like.

1. Sports Bar: never, alone, with friends, with your SO? ~ I’m not really into sports bars, so if I went it would probably be with friends. Guy friends. To watch a game.

2. Brew pub or beer hall: never, alone, with friends, with your SO? ~ see #1 above.

3. Wine Festival: never, alone, with friends, with your SO? ~ with my wife (she LOVES wine!) or friends.

4. Tanning Salon: never, alone, with friends, with your SO? ~ not my thing. If I went it would be solo, only because it seems functionary - like getting a haircut. I might go with my wife, if she bought a 2-for-1 deal.

5. Sex/kink event (e.g. Dark Odyssey, Sexapalooza, Leather conferences, fetish ball, kinky salon): never, alone, with friends, with your SO? ~ I took my wife to a fetish event after we’d met friends at bar. I told her it was a costume party, but when we arrived it was obvious it was a fetish party. We stayed about 40 minutes (I knew a few people so I had to be polite) but my wife was not into it at all, so we left. I’ve also been to a Fetish Ball, solo. I don’t think I told my wife it was a Fetish Ball, I think I just told her I was going out.

6. Strip club: never, alone, with friends, with your SO? ~ ha! I used to work as a DJ in a strip club last century, so I’m no stranger to strip establishments. Neither is my wife, who would visit me from time to time to ensure there was no hanky panky with the strippers going on. About a year ago my wife suggested we go to a strip club, again after we’d had drinks with friends (just us, not the friends). That was during her ‘sexual bucket list’ period when she seemed she was open to lots of things ie I’m a wild and crazy sex goddess ie oh my god I’m reading so much porn online I wanna act it out!! I blogged about it then but since I’m on a business trip right now and posting via iPad, I can’t give you the link. It was fun but after an hour she got bored - we went home and the fantasy kind of fell apart. I’m still unsure what she was expecting me to do at the club since she had initiated the visit but gave me no cues.

7. Sex toy store: never, alone, with friends, with your SO? ~ I went to one in Amsterdam (as you do) and bought my wife a Fun Factory vibe, since she wasn’t on the trip with me. She started it when she went solo to buy herself a we-vibe (“for us!”) back when she started out on her sexual bucket list. Later I bought her a Lelo on Amazon! So no, we don’t really frequent toy stores.

8. Upscale Spa: never, alone, with friends, with your SO? ~ always with my wife! We do a couples thing. It’s great, very relaxing. I always want to fuck her afterwards but we never do. Which is a shame because I’m always horny after having a woman rub her oily hands over me for 50 minutes!! I will only let a woman massage me, never a man. Once in Thailand I was given a lady boy after I refused the man they offered. You make compromises when you’re on vacation! (My wife still laughs about that).

9. Adult Sex education conference (e.g. Eroticon, CatalystCon): never, alone, with friends, with your SO? ~ ha! Again I’ve worked at a few Sexpo’s (last century) - great fun but my wife never attended, even though I had free tickets. Pornstars are pretty normal people BTW, if you didn’t already know, but it’s still weird talking to one about mundane stuff as she’s sitting back stage pushing a long string of pearls up her twat. You just gotta keep looking her in the eye, because she’s testing you.

BONUS ~ don’t miss yesterday’s posts! AND the next three after this one. I talk about last weekend’s events. Started well, and then went south!! (Some real TMI stuff)

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Friday Night Sex

On Friday night our daughter was at a Slumber Party so we had the evening to ourselves. We went to a local joint that served great tacos (but doesn’t everyone these days?!) and then returned home. And watched TV.

I’d had a pretty bad day and wasn’t up to much, despite my plans earlier in the week to take the plunge at the weekend and tie my wife up. And then ravage her with sex toys until she was cumming like a monsoon rain.

But I had a whole lot of shit go down during the day, that I had to clean up, so I never made it to the store to buy some soft silk ropes. So we watched TV instead, the shows my wife wanted to watch. Then we watched the last half hour of a Jason Staham movie we hadn’t finished from the night before. (My wife likes Jason Statham. Likes as in She’d fuck him if she had the chance)

Anyway, my wife went to bed and i followed her up about 30 minutes later. She was only just pulling on her pyjamma tshirt and getting into bed. My Spidey sense told me something was up. “Have you been reading your dirty stories again?” I accused her, with mock menace.

"No!" she said defiantly.

I didn’t believe her.

"Well, that’s too bad then" I said, throwing back the covers and spreading her legs. She was naked from the waist down, that’s how she sleeps.

I immediately buried my head between her thighs and she made no effort to stop me. As my tongue found her pussy she grabbed my head with both hands and held me there. She wasn’t locking me in place, she was just ensuring my head didn’t move - in case I was gonna pull some borring shit like come up and kiss her stomach, her boobs, or her mouth.

She didn’t want foreplay - someone had already done that job for me - either Jason Staham or whatever dirty story she’d been secretly reading. I wasn’t about to complain. She wanted me just where she had me… sucking, licking, and nibbling on her pussy. 

We’d gone from 0 - 60 in about 20 seconds so I didn’t hold back and I got a bit rougher. I kept my mouth firmly on her pussy, tounging her clit, but I used both hands to pull her pussy lips this way and that. She started writhing and moaning immediately, clearly enjoying this new technique. Her pussy was very wet and she arched her back and began thrashing around. She was cumming. Hard.

I stood up and removed my pants - I’d been fully clothed the whole time, but now it was my turn. I walked back to the bed and, lying on her side on the bed, she grabbed my cock and took it to her mouth. I was standing as she sucked me - she my stiff cock with one hand while her free hand found her pussy once again. She was horny alright, very horny. I grabbed her head and tried to face fuck her but the position wasn’t right.

Pulling out, I stepped back, and then stood up on the upholstered plinth our king size bed is set on. I pulled my wife up and she instinctively assumed the position - siting on the side of the bed, between my legs. It was the perfect position for me to slide my dick into her eager mouth. I held her head and gently started fucking her face, increasing the tempo as she stroked my shaft and tickled my balls. 

She loves playing with my balls and by now they were swollen and tight, full and ready to cum.

I pushed her back on the bed and told her to turn over. 

She assumed the doggy position and I grabbed two pillows and placed them under her. I was going to fuck her hard, so I wanted to give her some support while I pummelled her. Which I did. I started pounding her from behind, hard fast and deep, and i knew I wouldn’t last long. I was ready to explode.

I managed to hold off long enough for my wife to climax again. She was loud - grunting and moaning, telling me how wet she was, how filled she felt, and urging me on, telling me to fuck her good. Which I did. And then she came. And then I came.

She collapsed on the bed while I made a mad dash for the tissues. There was a lot of cum, dribbling down her silky thighs.

"Oh my god, I’m so wet" she gasped, exhausted "I think I squirted"

Needless to say we both went to sleep very quickly, both very satisfied, and we both slept very soundly.

It turned out this was just the start of the weekend’s madness. I’ll post those stories over the next few days, starting Wednesday since tomorrow is TMI Tuesday. Make sure you come back for those posts…

Sunday Movie...


As we’ve ventured into the lifestyle more and more over the last two years - we’ve been more able than ever to express our deepest desires to each other so much more freely than ever before.

One thing that has come up rather recently - especially over the last couple of months after Mrs….

TMI Tuesday: August 12, 2014 ~ Happy Hour?

Time for fun and cheesy pick up lines at TMI Tuesday Happy Hour


At the TMI Tuesday bar someone walks up to you and utters the following lines, Tell us how you would respond. (My answers in italics, below).

1. Would you like to fake an orgasm with me tonight? ~ Wow, you must be pretty bad in bed if men have to fake an orgasm with you… but… I’m intrigued - let’s find out just how bed in bed you are…

2. Did you just fart because you are blowing me away? ~ Ew! Sorry hun’ but I’m not into scat so lets stop this now.

3. You’re hot. I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies. (Would you accept?) ~ Damn, now I wish I’d had that vasectomy. You do know that men will run ~sprint~ from any one night stand when a woman says she wants a baby? I bet you put holes in the condoms too, don’t you? (But of course I’d still fuck her - I’m a guy - we’re stupid!)

4. I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button. ~ oh, you want the Spiderman kiss then? Let me find a fire escape to hang from.

5. You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong. ~ Wow, you’re amazing, I wouldn’t have picked you for a lady boy. I’m flattered, you’re hot, but… Nero don’t swing that way.

6. You look like a hard worker, I have an opening you can fill. ~ sure thing Boss Lady, I’ve been looking for a new position. Just make sure you work me good because Daddy likes to bring home the bacon.

7. I don’t feel good, I think I need a shot of penis-illin. ~ Really? Then I have great news: the Doctor is ‘in’.

8. If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package? ~ Overnight shipping, or Express?

BonusBelly up to the bar. What’s your pleasure? Which one drink would you order and why? (My answer below, in italics)

Slippery Nipple
No one can miss the innuendo in this drink’s name. It is comprised of equal parts Bailey’s Irish Cream and butterscotch schnapps. There are many different drink names that start with ‘Slippery’, most contain either Bailey’s Irish Cream or butterscotch schnapps.

After Sex
This drink is made with vodka, crème de bananas, and orange juice.

Leg Spreader
Not for the faint of heart, there is nothing but liquor in this drink. It is made of four equal parts of nothing but alcohol: tequila, vodka, gin, and rum. Proceed with caution!

All Night Long
The inference in this name is probably what most people wish for, but one or two or these will have you passed out on the floor all night long. It contains sweet and sour mix, coconut rum, Kahlua, crème de cacao, and pineapple juice.

Sloe Comfortable Screw
There are many drinks that play upon the pronunciation of sloe gin—pronounced slow gin. The rest of the name is a pun on all the other ingredients as well, to create a name that is as suggestive as you could want. Sloe gin for ‘slow,’ Southern Comfort for ‘comfortable,’ and orange juice and vodka for ‘screw’—as in a Screwdriver.

I’m going to go with All Night Long, because I like the ingredients. But then the Slow Comfortable Screw looks drinkable too! I might try After Sex because i like bananas (settle down Freud!) - but I’m also a fan of Baileys so I guess I gotta have a Slippery Nippple too, right? The Leg Spreader looks dangerous (all those spirits mixed together? why don’t we just drink ethanol?) but clearly we’re making a night of it here at the bar, so lets kick off the Happy Hour with one of those to get us started?

BONUS BONUS: Check out this DHL TV Commercial, it’s quite a funny concept!

TRIPLE BONUS: My usual tipple is….



How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

We make Tumblr themes